Today right now, I am skinning my first animal. I felt a bit
sick at first, but I coped, and it got better. I really started
to get a feel for the rabbit, it was showing me where to cut,
and where to pull instead.
The problem is that a hunter shot this rabbit, then froze it,
then defrosted it, and froze it again. It is not the actual
skinning that is bad, just the feeling of cold squishy stuff
I have decided not to use a knife, or manufactured tools, so
am just using obsidian.
||The worst part came just now,
and I had to stop and throw up in the toilet.
It is the area where it was shot. On one side is just
blood. This is hard, but I can cope, However, on the other
side, it's kinda brownish thick rotten something, and I
just had to quit for a bit, and get away from it!
I don't know if I can deal with finishing it now. The
bad area is right around the head, and the smell is awful.
I am trying to feel that it was way worse for the animal when it
got shot, but it doesn't help! I think I might throw a bucket of
water over it, so the brown stuff goes away.
If I can handle it, I will try and get the sinew, and
whatever else I can cope with taking of the animal.
So... here I had to stop for awhile. After discussing my
experience with a friend, I continued with the project.
Here are some of my thoughts as I wrestled with and got
through the revulsion that I felt:
There are bound to have been times, when you were alone in
the forest for an extended period of time especially in the
beginning, where you felt you had to leave because you felt
alone. You may know that little demon I am talking about. It
takes a BIG battle to actually defeat that demon! After you do,
only then can you enjoy life in the wilderness. While the demon
is still there it consumes all thoughts and experiences, so that
all you think about is wanting to leave in order to meet
someone, hear someone's voice, etc...
Know what I am talking about? Good!
Now, This was the first time an opportunity came up for me to
experience skinning and brain-tanning. Here in Europe laws
regarding touching dead stuff are ridiculous!!! And it's impossible
to get your hands on anything organic (like sinew, etc).
So, anyway, I got this rabbit, and felt nervous and scared
about it to start with. As I got on with the task of skinning
the rabbit, it felt like my revulsion was something that was
trying to pry me away from this learning experience. A demon, if
you will, trying to block my progress as an Earth child. Most of
the time in the beginning it was a battle, but after I spoke
about this with a friend, I went back down and finished the
skinning part. And know what? The revulsion went away! Sure, I
still felt a bit queasy the odd time, but it was fine. I could
enjoy looking at the inside of this rabbit, its muscles. etc. I
even managed to remove the brain without a feeling of revulsion,
just exploration and reverence.
The next day, after a good night's sleep, it was bright
daylight again. I took the skin and fleshed it in my lap! It
looked repulsive at first, but it didn't bother me in the least.
The smells were fine with me too! It was all just interesting,
and new to me. The hide has now been fleshed and racked up, and
it's nearly dry.